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I really thought I was out!

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I got my BFP today!!!! I cannot believe I'm posting this!
I have been stalking this page since 2009! I thought I Od on CD 14, but then had ewcm on CD 18, so I'm not sure what day was Oday. So I will list both possible DPO days. Here are the symptoms a wrote down. Please excuse my bad grammar and short hand, I copied and pasted this straight from my app, so these are the notes I wrote to myself.
LMP 3/9. AF due 4/5
1dpo- little cramps. Trouble falling asleep.

2dpo or 6dpo- feeling a little wet. 2 pinches near belly button. Back cramps. Period like cramps.

3dpo or 7dpo- gums bled when flossing. Tingly breast 9 pm pinching near belly button BFN FRER

4dpo or 8dpo- breasts feel warm and fuzzy inside and tingly (never felt this before) tired today

5dpo or 9dpo- BAD headache. Little congested. Gums bled when flossing

6dpo or 10dpo- breasts burn (this is so weird)

7dpo or 11 dpo- breasts feel hot inside and tingle, hurts under boobs where bra band is. Localized cramping right side . BFN FRER. Feel achy like AF coming

8dpo or 12dpo- bfn fmu frer
boobs feel the same
DH and I argued last night and I got very emotional.
I am so tired of symptom spotting every month then getting bfns. it really is getting to me bad this month. I feel sad... every time i get my hopes up, bam! bfn
I feel like from now on never testing unless I'm late. I can't stand this excitement then immediate disappointment

am I really this depressed?... this is not good
bad gas bm loose 10pm
boobs still hurt and burn a lot

9dpo or 13dpo- achy back maybe af tomorrow 10 am
1030 feel crampy like af is coming
milky cm
diareah
6pm very faint second line on blue dye in time limit (don't trust blue dyes tho)
AF due tomorrow

10dpo or 14dpo- AF due did not show
no af yet 10am
cried this morning at work because coworker last day.
My hopes aren't up, probably will start soon
11am back a little achey. checked cm w finger, milky cm
135 checked cm milky.
No more achy back. boobies still feeling tingly and achy not too sore to touch
tummy was growling at 1045 even though I drank all my coffee this morning.
feeling slightly nauseous today
330 milky cm a little crampy after checking
diareah 10pm

11dpo or 15dpo- Still no AF.
Boobs don't really burn much, but are sore and huge! Checked CP and it was so high and far back I couldnt touch it! This has NEVER ever happened, so of course I Google like crazy. I wanted to test, but then figured i would see bfn and wanted to live in my fantasy world of possibly being pregnant for a littlw longer before getting crushed
Went to lunch w coworkers, couldn't finish my food because I felt queasy. Ok may be I'll test anyways... I've peed like 5 times this morning, so if it's negative I can blame it on diluted urine. Grab test, go back to work, pee on it and... OMG!!! BFP! FRER
I can't believe it! Told my boss I have to leave work early.
Bought a clear blue digi on way home.
Peed on FRER digi BFP
Clear blue /- BFP
Clear blue digi BFP!!!!!


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