We have one son, 3.5 now. We conceived him on our first month of trying, and it created some unrealistic expectations for us. We were completely unprepared for how difficult number two would be. 14 cycles, and nothing - except what I suspect were some super early chemicals - I never got a positive test with them, but I was starting to get symptoms (I don't have any pms symptoms normally until the first day of af), only to have them come to a sudden stop right when af arrived. I think they were implantation fails. Our age may be showing. I'm 40, DH is 44. We have been getting tested, and my results are all pretty great (especially given my age), but we were suprised to find we have moderate to severe male factor.
This is our first cycle with interventions: Clomid, and IUI
Clomid 50mg, cd 3-7
cd 14 - positive opk in the evening
cd 15 - ultrasound: 14mm endometrium, 17 and 18 mm follicles on either ovary. No trigger, since I ovulate naturally.
cd 16 - IUI. DH count better than when we first tested, but still low. The test last month showed 2.5 mil per ml, and only 2% morphology. The count is a bit up for our IUI, and we ended up with 7mil washed, which still isn't great. They told us to BD too, but we didn't - we were so exhausted, and I felt horrible and bloated and painful on the clomid.
1 dpo - I feel better as the ovulation pain is receding. Haven't ever had it before this clomid cycle, but it was rough, I felt awful.
2 dpo - some stabby pains in bbs, carpal tunnel flaring a bit.
3 dpo - one wierd, isolated cramp
4 dpo - a few more cramps, some mild nausea. Joint pains. LOTS of stabby pains all along my mammary line (I have some run-away bb tissue in odd spots. For me this goes up my upper arm, my groin, and even down my thigh a bit). Weepy. None of this is normal, I don't really get any pms symptoms until the day af arrives, with the exception of a little irritability.
5 dpo - this was a busy day, so I had less time to notice and jot down symptoms. It's my 40th birthday party. Heart arrythmia a few times - I never get this unless I'm pregnant. Weird rash on chest. A few cramps, including one really surprisingly strong one.
6 dpo - bbs get very tender. More arrythmia. Constipated (I'm normally regular like clockwork, so this is really wierd).
7 dpo - bbs still tender. More stabby pains along mammary line. Mild nausea, burping, and excess salivation. Joint pains (hips, elbow, fingers). Lower back pain. Still constipated. Mild cramping and discomfort in lower abdomen.
8 dpo - I'm 40 today. Mild nausea. Joint pain. Sharp stabby pains in abdomen. Still constipated. bbs felt less painful in the morning, which I took as a bad sign, thinking I was coming off a progesterone peak - but pain returned in the afternoon.
9 dpo - Nighmares of my son dying. (I dream of children and animals dying or in danger when I'm pregnant...fun times). A bowel movement, hurray! Lots of stabby pains along mammary line, bbs hurting, especially on the sides, joint pains. Some mild nausea after food. Here's some weird ones: marked increase in ocd impulses, and super sensitive skin in some places, like to the point where clothing feels painful on me.
10 dpo - Nausea after food, excess salivation, burps. Bbs seem only slightly tender. Gassy, constipated. Very mild cramping and some twinges. Joint pains, of the throbbing kind. Woke thirsty. Alternately hot and clammy and cold at night. Super messy, vivid dreams. Increased sex drive (like, from absolutely zero up to miniscule, because my drive bottomed out in the last few years). Mid-morning heartbreak: light touch of pink spotting, only when I wipe. My cervix, however, is closed tight... which is not my experience with spotting that signals failure. I try to prepare for failure, but secretly hold out hope that it's implantation. I run to the bathroom a thousand times to check for more spotting, but there isn't any more. Light abdominal pain, bit like a uti. Headache, but I'm ascribing it to constipation.
11 dpo - cervix *still* closed, and no more spotting. I'm convinced now, and I run out to get a test so I can test the next morning. Still constipated, gassy, joints hurty, bbs tender. Throat hurts, I'm sneezing, and I have a cold sore outbreak. I internally cheer for my immune system in retreat, because this was also a symptom with my first successful pregnancy.
12 dpo - clear, strong BFP within seconds (frer with fmu). I guess I could have tested a day or two ago, judging by the line strength. Or it's twins (a prospect I find terrifying, especially at my age). Fingers crossed for a healthy singleton.
I know this is by no means guaranteed, it's super early, and a lot can still go wrong - but I feel a sense of strange calm. I'm reassured our first IUI worked, having been steeling myself for multiple tries. I feel optimistic, even if this one fails. We can do this again if we have to. I hope we don't have to though :)
